“You Will Always Be In Debt!”
“You will always be in debt” are the words a family member stated when I explained to them how we were starting our journey towards becoming debt-free some years ago.
“You will always be in debt,” they exclaimed! And I must it admit, when the words came out of their mouth, I was taken by surprise and almost got an attitude; however, after having a conversation about finances with them, I clearly understood their vantage point and learned the following.
#1 Everyone will not understand or even see the vision you have for you and your family, and honestly, they aren’t supposed to!
For me, when I learn something or discover that by doing this one thing, I can change the trajectory of my life, I want to tell everyone. Not just so it will help me and my family, but so it can help other families as well; however, in that moment, I realized that although I want everyone to join us on our journey towards financial freedom, this journey may not be for everyone, including family members.
#2 Sometimes people can’t see past their present circumstances and instead of trying to have more, be more, do more, they’d rather just go about their day-to-day lives believing “this is it…life will not get any better than this.”
And that’s ok for them, but as for “me and my house….”, I believe the Word when it says we are the “head and not the tail, above and not beneath, the lenders and not the borrowers…” Our family will not be bound by debt, regardless of what anyone believes (or don’t believe), family or not! Most people would say family is the most important relationship we will build in our lifetime. In this this day in time, however, we have so many distractions with work, school, extracurricular activities, and social media that hinders us from building those strong family ties. If we, however, can focus on one thing that will help us prioritize our relationships, we will begin to see the benefits (and the blessing) of having healthy familial bonds. What are some ways to prioritize? Start small! Eat together as a family one time per week without phones, iPads or any distractions. If married, schedule monthly date nights (or even monthly lunch dates due to your schedules) with your spouse. It does not have to be big or expensive; it just needs to become a priority. Take the time to take small steps to make your family a priority in 2019.
#3 Sometimes people are just ignorant.
It’s not that this family member was trying to tear my dream down. They just had never heard of anyone becoming debt-free. It was incomprehensible to them. And so, they made the blanket statement “You will never be debt-free” meaning “none of us will ever be debt-free.” And although I knew where they were coming from, I had to politely make them aware that although that may be their testimony, it certainly is not mine. I also had to explain to them the difference between having debt and having expenses. You see, they made the statement out of ignorance believing we will always have to pay somebody something, which is somewhat true. We will always have to pay for various expenses–utilities, insurances, groceries, etc., however, we do not always have to be in debt (credit card debt, auto loan, mortgages, etc..)! There is a difference!
So, by having this conversation with this family member, I understood that sometimes the only way some people will ever become a “believer in anything” is to show them results. As my mom use to say, “I can show you better than I can tell you.”
Often, many people don’t believe they can have success in their family, finances, businesses, careers, marriage, etc…because, one, they’ve never seen it or, two, they may be so fearful of believing in something so big, that they don’t want to be let down if it doesn’t happen.
Don’t let your temper, pettiness or attitude get in the way when people make blanket statements that are contrary to your vision. Some people have to see the results for themselves in order to believe. Ask Doubting Thomas! We just have to ensure we respond like Jesus…with grace and with compassion knowing they can have success too, if they only believe…even before they see it!
What do you believe about your finances? Do you really think it is possible for you to change your financial family tree?
I have been able to get a taste of what
